In Praise of Stay at Home Moms

Lovley Lovley Lovley....got this off a friend. A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?' 'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.

.

Being Me

This is really a bit of a rant. I have no time to make proper sense of it all and let it follow a beginning middle and end...I just wanted to speak to this issue for my friend Karen and for all of us struggling to be just that..."US"

Just home from my regular beautiful Thursday morning with the ladies. We share a lot, we talk, we commiserate, we find solutions, we support all amongst delicious homemade treats and coffee. Our kids (over 18 months) play in the good shepherd drop in centre on site. One friend shared what a lot of us stay at home moms go through at one time or another. She shared her feelings of inadequateness as a homemaker, a housekeeper and a child raiser. I know I been there. And I'm sure I will again. Life is hills and life is valley's and sometimes the road is filled with blue skies and flat dry roads scattered with flowers, but other times it's raining or hailing and the roads are slick and the grade steep and narrow and filled with all these ducks crossing 6 lane highways. Being a homemaker is a job. It's a job I take very seriously. Just as someone who clocks in at a 9-5 would take care to do their best, meet their goals, keep re-educating themselves with up-grade classes by reading books and studying thier craft, as do we as homemakers. Read up on parenting books, read up on organizational blogs, talk to other homemakers and how they make it work, we are always studying, and we are always learning. Getting frustrated with the "kitchen that only stays clean when the kids are either not at home or asleep" the "never ending laundry" the chore that becomes finding time for mom (because all good mamma's need mamma time and it is NOT selfish and most definatley needed to be a good mamma) the cries that need attending to amidst cookies that are burning and the other child NEEDING the potty and needing it NOW. It's the crumbs that get vacummed once a day OR once a week depending on temperment of all who live here. It's the bums that never stay clean, (and faces and hands for that matter) the tantrums the windows filled with dirty fingerprints and the transformers that line the bathtub in my "paris only" themed bathroom. It's juggling, it's prioritizing, it's battning down the hatches for the storms to pass, it's the multi tasking, accepting that writing a blog post will result in about 6 interuptions and being okay with that. I once commented to a friend that me slowing mine and my family's life down and getting back to basics is really helping us and making us happier. Really spending time on people who matter, people who are real and true and give back, has meant cutting out people or parties or playdates that have no "nutritional value" so to speak has made me feel at times that I guess because i can't do it all, means I ain't no super mom. To which this dear sweet friend replied, actually I think it DOES mean you are super mom. Because you are putting your family and your priorites first and only. You aren't wasting your precious time on this earth with "the time vampires" as i call them. And those words stuck. Just because your windows have fingerprints on them doesn't mean your not a good housewife, it means you have kids that live in your home every day, and for that I am reminded to be ever thankful. When the laundry never ends, it means I still have these sweet beings sharing a roof over our heads, and this sadly will not be the case in 15 or so more years....When they are gone and moved in with their boyfriends, girlfriends, wife's or husbands or life partners, I will have ample time to blog without interuption. At that time Optimus Prime lined bathtubs will be but a memory. So we live in the now. And that is what is so hard. I am constantly torn between being the person God made me to be, and finding my niche in society. My dear friends call me the "hippie mamma" which makes me laugh because to them I am so different from the norm, from the mainstream society. I am the crazy mamma who wips her boob out wherever to feed a hungry babe (or toddler) I sew and create and sing and dance and wear more costumes than clothes. I make my own laundry soap and my own granola. To many in mainstream society these are things that don't happen so frequently (sadly) Finding that balance was what I thought I had to do to make it work. And part of that is true, but more than anything it was finding the confidence to be me. To be different, to be unique to be who I was put on this earth to be. And since accepting this it's made it so much easier to just get on with life. My home is rarley spotless. As I scan the living room I am embaressed to admit their are four articles of clothing strewn about bits of breakfast, lunch and snack laden beneath my girls high chair. The dishes are piled in the sink because dancing in the living room to Abba brought me away from them. The fingerprints are ALWAYS on the glass windows, but I also see my big boy loving on his sister. For today there is hugging and kissing and dancing. Tommorow there may be tantrums and melt downs but for today my road has no hills, it's dry the blue sky is sparkling and the sun is beating down on my pasty white skin. One kid is jumping on the couch the other tearing out every SINGLE DVD we own out of the cupboard. And I don't care. Because my priorites are in order. Their bellies are full, their pants aren't full a poop, and they are happy. And that makes me happy...